Perfect Epiphany

I know I'm a perfectionist. I realize that this causes me a GREAT deal of grief for ME! Today I had a new and even bigger epiphany about my perfectionism. I want everything to be perfect - most of all me. Because I set such high (and impossible standards for myself) I tend to set them for those around me too - especially my family! I'm just now (as I'm typing) thinking this TRULY isn't fair for two small children - namley my sons - to be expcted to be perfect... but I diverge. My epiphany was that even if I do everything absolutley perfect regarding raising my children, they're would still be problems, and troubles, and obstacles with my children. I know, for many of you, this seems like a "duh" statement. But when I had it today, it was like someone slapped me across the face. Not only am I striving for something I could never obtain, but if I could obtain it, the "desired" result still wouldn't be there. This really was the Perfect Epiphany for me to have.

We - I totally lost my next train of thought. I'm tired, so, I guess I'll be off to bed now to dream more insight into relaxing my standards - for me and for those around me.

Ponderous Suzy

Poop-in Time

Jack spent the entire morning in one pair of training pants and even pooped in the potty today (I noticed he was starting to bear down and took him in there). This was his first day ever with training pants. I'm so tickled, he's just 20 months! I think it definitley helps to have an older brother to watch and immitate. At this rate, he may be potty-trained in time for his second birthday!

I do have one gripe about the whole thing though... cleaning poop out of children's potty's is a pain in the - well - in the butt! My older child was much older when he got around to pooping out of a diaper, so, he did it on a seat on the big potty... we may graduate the "little guy" to this soon - I don't want to be scrubbing poop out of that little potty for long! Yuck!

Suzy :)

Happy Days for Us All

Today was Frank's 4th Birthday. Of course I did the usual mulling and amazed thinking, but then I also did something new and different. I remained calm. I remained upbeat (mostly). I didn't stress or wig out. I did a good job!

We invited grandparents and a couple of close friends over for a family type celebration (dinner, cake, and ice cream). Frank's 1st and 3rd Birthday's had large kid parties. Frank was asking for a party the past few days, and was quite happy with this smaller, simpler celebration. It didn't take hours and hours of preparation and was generally easier.

Anyway, I'm glad I stayed so calm. It was a big step for me. It's also important for me to remember that simple is good and calm is easy to do.

Suzy :)

Careful What You Wish For

The fact that we keep wanting new and different things is good, right? It keeps us growing and changing. But, also, I think it's important to find peace and contentment with where we are right now. Presently, I have a doting husband and two loving and happy boys (just what I've wished for for many, many years), but I seem to be going crazy with the need for some time and space for just me. It feels like each and every minute must be devoted to them or else they are literally climbing all over me. I feel bad about feeling this way, mostly because I know it will be just a few short years and they will be off on their own and I'll be wishing for them again. In the end, I'm making myself grumpy and grouchy for no good reason; I think it's just because that's how I've gotten use to being. Sometimes I feel like I should just throw out (quite literally) everything that surrounds me that doesn't revolve around my young sons (amost 4 yr and 20 mo). Now I'm feeling more guilty than ever because my older son is showing some of the same nervous signs that I exhibit - they are painful and upsetting, and he certainly doesn't need to be feeling them - he's not even four! I know that "if Momma ain't happy, ain't nobody happy." I want to be happy, but I can't seem to kick myself in the pants! The formative years are the first five and I find myself with just one left with Frank. He knows how to be clean, and neat, and cook, but I worry I haven't taught him how to be happy and content with life.

Suzy

Learning From the Masters

I recently became a consultant for The Pampered Chef. Since doing so, I've been calling on many people for many things and I've been amazed at how well so many people have mastered an art I'm still challenged at... Learning to say "No". They do it polietly and curtley, some say "yes" but then won't commit. I'd rather they just say "no", at least then you don't spend your time chasing down the "yes". Anyway, I truly am amazed at how easy it seems to be for other people to say "no". I'm trying to take notes so I can learn this art myself.

Suzy :)

And Then Some

I've no idea how that Title will play into this post, but it popped into my sleepy little head.

Today I felt like I had so much going on, I just did what I had to do to get through the next level; then, as soon as that step was done, I worked like mad on the next step.

It felt good to have my husband back at work, but I worried about him all day, because I knew he was still in a lot of pain. He likes medicine, "better living through chemistry" he always says, but he also tends to push his limits and wait to take medicine until he's in so much pain it takes a long time to kick in. Also, with his back hurting, he gets in a groove and forgets to get up. So, every hour I sent him a page reminding him to get up and stretch. I also paged him every four hours when he was due for more Tylenol. He came home so grateful and boasting that his co-workers think I'm this great wife! They couldn't figure out why his pager kept going off, so he started showing them the pages. I also send little one or two line notes when one of our boys does something "interesting". They actually thought I was "bothering" him and "complaining", so that's why he started showing them the pages. Anyway, they were all terribly impressed that I would "take the time out of my busy day" to write my husband. The way I figure it, my job as wife and mother is this: 1 - take care of me so I can, 2 - take care of my husband, and then, 3 - take care of our children. Taking care of our home falls into that category as does taking care of everyone's health (and diet). Now. This doesn't mean I do everything for them, but I help guide them along... my three (almost four) year old, Frank, tonight didn't like what he saw me fixing for dinner. So, he got out the tortillas and shreeded cheese, along with a plate to make himself a quesidilla (starch and protien). I ask what he was going to have for a vegetable, he got out a carrot, and ask for the potato peeler and crinkle cutter so he could clean and cut it. Then he took out the trash can (for the peelings) and a cutting board, and fixed his own dinner. He's not even four! I was proud (and a little sad) at the same time. I'm just tickled pink at how he can take care of himself and amazed at "how quickly they grow up!"

On a related note of growing up, when I got out of the shower it was to the sound of the boy’s bedroom door opening. When I stepped out of the bathroom, I found Jack, naked, holding his romper, which he'd unbuttoned (a first) that he’d been wearing in one hand, and a Buzz Lightyear glove in the other hand. He was using the Buzz glove to wipe his butt. Yep. Poppy! Big piles of poop on his carpet next to an empty diaper. I ask Frank “why’d you let your brother get undressed?” Frank turned around and said “What? Oh man! Why’s there poop on my floor!?!” He’d been so busy playing he never noticed Jack undressing or leaving the room. Did I mention I was late to pick up my friend's children this morning?

I've been thinking Jack's ready - at 19 months - to start potty training. Every time he sees someone near the toilet, he wants to sit on his potty, and he ALWAYS PEES in it! This kind of pushes it over the edge for me; next week perhaps we'll start. Once I got the carpet cleaned up, I picked up my friend's two boys. For the second day in row, I watched four boys (ages 19, 26, 44, and 47 months). Our friends are moving and trying to organize a huge, blow-out, sell-everything-they-own yard sale. They are also 7 months pregnant with their third child (a girl).
I'd offered to go over and help prep things, but then we realized that I'd be a much bigger help to just take the kids for a few hours at a time. Also, the boys have much more fun playing over here unincumbered by boxes of stuff they can't touch and able to delve into toys galore - inside and out. It's so nice how they are getting old enough to play more or less on their own and together. I can supervise from the kitchen window and still be doing my own thing in the house.

Speaking of "my own thing", I have a Library (ie: junk room) that I wanted to devote 30 minutes to before going to bed tonight, so, I'm off!

Suzy :)

Back to (A Little Bit of) Work

Today my husband is back at work! He injured his back last week, and still is in a lot of pain, but it's good to have him able to go back - even in limited capacity. HR called him with a “transitional work program”. His doctor sent a note specifying what he could do and then his boss found something to keep him busy. He took a bottle of Tylenol, a heating pad, and two ice packs to help him along. We’ll see how long he can make it today (without prescription narcotics or his recliner to ease the pain!)

In other news my left ovary is killing me this morning! Jack is sneezing and just had a snotty face, but it seems to have stopped. I’ll be watching my friends two boys again this morning and taking them home after lunch. This afternoon, I plan to get an allergy shot, then head to the mall to pick up Jack’s portraits, after that I’ll pick hubby up from work / his friends'.

Suzy :)