An Independent Tribute to Tom

I just wanted to offer a little tribute to my husband Tom, who's birthday was today, the Fourth of July, Independence Day.


The funniest or maybe it's just an ironic thing is that growing up my Mom always told us that she didn't want to "fight" over having her family home "for the holidays" (ie: Thanksgiving and Christmas). Our "Special" holiday was going to be The Fourth of July! And it was! We always did fun simple things for The Fourth. When we grew up, she wanted all her kids (and grandkids) to come home in July.

Perhaps, as a result of all the focus on The Fourth of July, I became quite the patriotic person. When describing myself (in a few words) I often use: Angels, Arizona, and Americana as a simplified description of the things I love.

Perhaps, in part because of my Patriotism, Tom was attracted to me.

Maybe I was attracted to him, in part, because I thought having a birthday on The Fourth of July was a "cool" thing.

Whatever it is. My Mom's plans have been dashed apart! Now, each year, Tom is in charge of Fourth of July plans, not my Mom. I know, I know. In an ideal world, we could celebrate Tom's birthday with my family and even his family. This isn't an ideal world and it just don't work like that!

Now, I'm a bit off track. I intended to write a bit about my Tom, not our family holidays.

I just want to say that my life with Tom is AMAZING. Somehow, I managed to stumble onto a person who suits me so very well. I regularly marvel at this fact. And I remind myself of it. Especially at times when "I feel like I'm talking to a brick wall."

Living with all men and boys takes getting use to. Mostly in regards to the fact that I just don't have someone else to talk with all the time. They have other things on their minds that don't involve long conversations with Mom/wife. I get it. Men use like 7,000 words a day and women 20,000 (or so "They" say). So. If I talk with each one of them, I barely get in all my words, and they are overloaded, because, they talk with other people too, so, I push them over the limit of what their brains are comfortable with.

Okay. This is, once again, going off on a tangent and perhaps sounds just a bit sexist, but what I'm trying to say is something nice... I often feel like Tom isn't listening to me, but when it comes right down to it, he seems to KNOW what I need and usually it's when I need it most that he appears with it. So. That's cool. I'm grateful. I'm thankful. Really, I am. I'm not being flippant. Just in awe of how one person can be so in tune with another (even if it doesn't always feel like it).

I'm so very tickled that Tom and I get along so well. It's a good thing, after all to get along with one's spouse and the parent to one's children! We do fight, but, usually it's about REALLY trivial stuff and then a little bit later in the day we'll call each other laughing saying "did we really just have a fight about that!?" In any case, I count the fact that we fight as another GREAT thing! This is because I can't remember fighting with anyone... well, besides my brother. Like I just don't fight with people. Instead, I tend to keep things bottled up. I let them fester inside of me. I beat myself up. I build resentments. Not with Tom. With him, I might let something stay inside of me for a few weeks, but mostly, it all comes out, and pretty quickly too. He does the same. I think this is good for us because it keeps us from doing what I seem to do well with others. Worry, seethe, fester, become bitter and upset. With Tom, it's out and done with before it ever has a chance to infect my Soul. I am so glad that he lets me share things with him so openly.

We've always been very open. It's intriguing to me how similar and how different two people can be, and at the same time. We compliment each other very well. I know there are areas we are still growing, but I'm happy we tend to do it together. I like walking down the path of life hand-in-hand with Tom.

Hand-in-hand. It's not all "Lovey-Dovey". Sometimes I think back to when I first got married and people told me "you're such a cute couple." It was with my first husband that I heard that. Tom and I have never been told we're a "Cute Couple". Sometimes, I wish they would, but it doesn't really matter. Is it because we're not young and starry eyed? Does it really matter if others think you're "cute" together? As long as you get along well, I'm sure it doesn't.

I mentioned that I would fight with my brother. Which is interesting, because I met Tom through my brother. They'd been friends for over eight years when Tom and I were introduced. Turns out, we'd been introduced once in the middle of those eight years, but when we met again, it took us about six weeks of "seeing each other" before we realized we'd met before. Funny how life changes you and someone you've met may not be right for you and then you grow and evolve and meet again and can't be separated!

Separated... we can and actually do separate. Which has proven to be a good thing this past year, during our move. It was good that we could function so well on our own (probably because we both had for so much of our adult lives). We both have interests / hobbies of our own that we cultivate. Things that relax us and bring us joy and are "ours". We also both express interest in the other's activities, but basically "stay out of them". I think this contributes to the health of our marriage. So, while we prefer to be together, we're also okay with separating for a few hours, days, or even weeks. While we miss one another, we can function alone too. They say you have to be happy with yourself before you can be happy with someone else, so, I guess that continues to be true even after your married.

So. When my brother introduced us, I remember telling my Mom "I met someone who's even more of a Star Wars fanatic than Ivan!" At the time, I could hardly believe this was possible. Star Wars was always such a part of my brother's identity, it was intriguing to me that someone else could be so involved with it. So, this has been something that Tom and I continue to explore and encourage... a love of Star Wars and an involvement with others who are passionate about it.

Yes. My husband is a Geek. So is my brother. So am I. We are a family of Geeks. But. My husband is also Cool and Social and Generous and Kind (and Foul-Mouthed) and Playful and Smart and Witty.


So. At the close of his birthday, my seventh (and quietest) with him, I just wanted to send out a great big "I LOVE YOU!" to my hubby. Thank you for sweeping me up into your wild, wonderful world and, oh yes, thank you too for our AMAZING Sons! We are all so very lucky to be a part of your life and have you in ours!

Movie Time - Hancock

Last night Tom and I went to a Special Engagement of Will Smith in Hancock. Since it was only playing one night, I mistakenly thought that it was at the end of it's run here and about to leave the theater. We were surprised to discover that we were in a Sneak Peek, Preview Showing. It was a very full house (though not packed). Even though it comes out today, the local theater will start playing it regularly next week ("small town").

Perhaps I should mention that I am a big Will Smith fan (though I haven't watched I Am Legend yet because it's so spooky/scary/sad.) In any case, like all of his movies that I've seen, I enjoyed this one too.

There was a Plot Twist that neither Tom nor I saw coming. I was good too!

Also, if you go to see it, stick around during the credits because there's an extra little bit during them.

Fun show! Glad I saw this action flick on the big-screen first. Enjoyed it. Might even go see it again... :D

Camp GonnaWannaFly - Cabin Report

Today the boys and I had our first Cabin Meeting for Camp GonnaWannaFly, a FLYLady Summer Fun Program.

Since we're learning to FLY, the boys wanted a Cabin name related to flying, but they also like the Transformers, so, we came up with the name Trans Flight Cabin. We're still trying to come up with each of our Camp Names, they need something to do with wings. We've talked about:

• Bumblebee
• Dragon
• Angel
• Fairy
• Starscream
• Thundercracker
  
• Wasp
• Hornet
• Beekeeper (Dad?)
  

But, we're still finalizing who's going to be what.

We pulled out a cork board we had sitting around and put our Cabin name (colored by the boys) at the top. Underneath, we have a picture of FLYLady along with our different lists and routines.

In the Camp Control Journal, FLYLady recommends giving Awards for little things. She suggested stickers or beads. I dug out our pony beads and a few pipe-cleaners. Then, I quickly made assignments for what different colors will be for:

• Red - Yard Toys
• Orange - KP (Kitchen Patrol)
• Yellow - Laundry
• Green - Bunkhouse (bedroom)
  
• Blue - Bathhouse
  
• Purple - Floors
  
• Black - Pets
  
• Brown - unassigned
  
• White - Special Items
• Pink - unassigned

When the boys finish doing something related to one of the items, they get to choose a bead in that color and add it to their bracelet (I'd like to figure out a way for them to make a necklace they can easily add beads to... any ideas on what to use that won't be tough for me to tie and untie constantly?)

We are using weekly themes and basing them on the Summer Movies we are watching each Tuesday. Today we go to see Waterhorse, but next week is a Veggie Tales Movie (I'll find out today which one it is), so, we will be doing activities this week related to Veggies and Veggie Tales. Then, next Wednesday will start a new Camp theme related to the next movie. I figure this makes it easy for me to think of a theme and will also build the excitement for the next movie.

So far, so good with the camp. It's all about attitude, and having this little fun thing to focus on is helping me to come up with ideas and be more playful.

Follow Up - Seperation Anxiety

They made it there and back safely. Frank had a blast with his Grandad! They even built a bird-house together. :D

Separation Anxiety

Is it normal to have trouble letting your 5-3/4 year old go away? With his Dad (your Husband)? To see his Great-Grandad? For the day?

I just saw Tom and Frank off for the day. Tom takes the boys (one-at-a-time) with him to work quite frequently. Usually when he goes on a long-drive to a customer. Normally, we find out about it right before it happens. I grab a few things for them, pack a snack bag and send them off. Typically, it's in the middle of a busy day, when I'm ready to be down-by-one.

Today's trip was in the planning since Friday. We packed for it yesterday. We set alarms to get up early for it today. They've been gone five minutes and I still have a pain in my heart from watching them drive off. It's weird. I know Frank will have fun. I want him to spend time with his Grandad. I certainly want him to enjoy himself. I just am sad when I'm not their to be a part of it.

This is in contrast though to how I've been feeling / acting lately. I have been so grumpy and quick to anger this past week. I am sure it's related to being tired and running around a-lot and our diet being off. So. I'm ready to strangle my kids one minute and the next I'm sad for them to go away for the day. Very confusing.

Perhaps some of my apprehension comes from the fact that on Friday we were told we were welcome to come for the Fourth of July (Tom's birthday) and that night, but we were NOT WELCOME to stay at my cousins' for the 5th or 6th of July, because they need "Family Time" together. Well. What are we? Chopped liver?!?! So. This happened Friday and a few hours later, we planned to let Frank go spend the day with Grandad.

Grandma is very unstable these days. All last month she carried a loaded-firearm with her. Whenever Grandad was out of the house, Grandma had the gun on her hip or the table next to her. She put it away last week. But still, I'm apprehensive about Frank spending time alone with her.

Grandad has a Chiropractor's appointment this morning. It is still undetermined where Frank will be during the doctor's appointment... at work with Dad (who's visiting customers for the first time), with Grandad (who wants to leave him with Grandma instead of taking him along), at the family's house who just had a surgery on Friday and told us we couldn't come visit for the whole long weekend? Where will Frank be and will he be safe?

De-ja-vu moment while typing just now. In my new sewing Studio. Where I've never been up at this early hour typing.

Also. Adding to my worrying heart this morning. Tom and I went to bed late last night. Then, apparently he got a tension-headache a few hours after we went to bed. So. Tom got up nauseous and very tired. He *has* to take this trip today... 144 miles, one way... for work. So. He's out there on a long drive. Tried and in pain. With our first-born-child. I'm apprehensive.

Do you think I could get any more sleep? I have to be up again (for my own appointment) in thirty-minutes. :P

Camp Wrap Up - Mini-Hawks Multi Sport

So. This past week Frank participated in his first Day Camp. It was put on by The Skyhawks and was everyday (M-F) from 9:00am to Noon. In our "Sister City", 15 miles away. Here's a group picture from the last day...


If you are having trouble finding Frank and his friend George. Look for the two kids who shirts stick out like sore thumbs... or just look for the Ever-So-Serious George.


Frank was roaring like a Dragon. George has a sense of humor and laughs quite a bit... just not when he thinks others are being ridiculous! George does things on his own terms!

T-shirts were handed out on Thursday afternoon. The kids were told to decorate them with their group/team mascots (King Cobras, Desert Eagles, or Red Dragons). Since Frank loves to tie-dye, we decided to do that and then paint a Red Dragon (Fire-Breathing) on the back. We also decide to invite his friend over to join in.


Of course, The Pixies must have been helping me read the instructions the first two times, because when we'd tied the shirts and put them in the soda-ash solution at 7:30pm, I realized that the dye was suppose to sit for 12 hours! Whoops!!!

With the help of Fairies, the following happened on Friday morning:

3:00 am - got up and started rinsing shirts
3:20 am - done rinsing
3:45 am - rinse and spin done in washing machine
4:00 - 5:00 - laid in bed while tumble dry on shirts
5:00 - 5:30 - painted shirts... THEY LOOK AWESOME!!!
5:45 am - back to bed for a few more hours sleep

I wish the boys could have put the paint on too, but all the same, the boys LOVE THEM! They look so totally cool!


As it turned out, I was *A LITTLE* over the top with the decorations. The Head Coach said that in three years he's NEVER seen anyone tie-dye their shirts, and that they were COMPLETELY AWESOME!!!

When you get a shirt from something like this, it often winds up as a rag or in the donation bag, but, if you tie-dye it, you cover up a little of the logo and create something fun and totally unique. I like this method for give-away shirts, and, like I said, Frank loves to tie-dye.

Personally, I'm really proud of how the dragons turned out too! On Tom's suggestion, I made a stencil, then used a sponge brush and some acrylic paint to dab it on. The scales and eye were created with pieces of masking tape. It went quickly and looks great. Oh, and of course, I put newspaper in between the shirt layers before taping the stencil down.


So. Back to the camp...

Frank learned the basics of three sports. Basketball (he was the tallest, and slowest, in his group)...


Soccer...


Yes. He is picking daisies/clovers in the grass while the goalie waves at his fans.

Seriously, Frank was tired from all the running in Basketball he'd just done. No really. Look. He gets up and participates...


And yes. That's Jack with the Indiana Jones' hat and mini-basketball under his shirt. Every chance he got, he was sneaking on the court/field to try to participate. He really IS Our Athlete, but this camp was for 4-7 year olds and we thought it would REALLY help Frank to have a basic understanding of how to handle the equipment for some standard games.

The last sport... Baseball...


As I said, Frank was the tallest in his group, and they didn't adjust the height of the T-ball stand or his feet stance, so his swings were, shall we say, awkward. Still in all, this was his favorite sport... "the one with the glove" or "the one with bat" as he calls it.

Today, we went to the park. While there, Frank actually hit a ball the Tom pitched to him... his second pitch! It was an exciting moment (not to be repeated yet).


The week was busy and tiring, but worth it. Frank feels much more confident with balls now (though not proficient). He can actually THROW a baseball now. Like, decent throw. Soccer he rarely talks about. Basketball, he's still working on the whole dribbling thing.

And Jack and I got a WHOLE bunch of one-on-one time. More than ever before. I'm enjoying his funny-little-personality more and more.

It's also encouraging us to just get outside and play with the boys more.

Oh. And we had lunch each day with a friend and her kids (George's mom and brother), and she's making me raise the bar. Frank has always been "Frank". No nicknames, just his name. His brother, on the other hand, has had DOZENS of nicknames in his three short years.

So, this week, Frank asks "Mom, what do you call me?"
I say "Frank".
"No, I mean other times?"
"Punk."
"No. Like 'Sugar'."

After being with my friend every day, he'd heard her call her boys "Sweetie", "Beautiful", and or "Sugar" all the time. Suddenly, being a "Punk" just wasn't good enough.

Tonight, at dinner, I took my friends' more baby-talking tone and tried to get Jack, to eat a bite of soup. I was like "here Sugar, have some food." On and on, I oozed baby-talk and sweet nick-names. They all just laughed at me and no food was actually eaten during the process. Then, they went back to being Punks!

Fit for Life - My Great Day has Begun!

This week the "bones" were all installed in my Studio (aka: sewing room). Paint on the walls. Furniture in place. Storage cubbies repaired and hung. One furniture thing remains... to replace a broken piece of glass in a hutch... but I can unpack around that.

So, this morning, I started unpacking my boxes. I have a little fabric put away, cutting mats out and sewing machines up. Still need two machine cords, iron & mat, notions. BUT... it's starting to look and feel like a usable space! YEAH!!!

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A few days ago I mentioned that all my summer clothes were still in boxes *somewhere* in the garage. Of course I knew the general area, they were in the "MSTR" section, but that's behind/past the "KIT", "LR/FR", "LIBrary", "SEW", and "BOYS" sections AND the aisles' I've created are being clogged up with things from Tom and the boys! So, I dreaded going out there for the summer things. Well, two days later, Tom surprised me with two boxes of my Summer things. Yesterday I unpacked 37 shirts (sleeveless and short-sleeve) and today I tried on the "bottoms". I was kinda dreading that part, because, as you know, over the Winter I gained 25 pounds. It was a surprise to me when I realized it in February, and since March I've been doing things to remedy the situation. In March and April I went to the gym, since then, I've been VERY active preparing to move, painting, moving, unpacking, doing yard work, sports-camp and such.

Well, today I tried on my summer "bottoms"... six pair of capri's, 4 skirts, and 2 dresses. In February I bought size 16 to fit comfortably, today, the 14's were loose and half of the 12's fit a little snug while the other 12's were *just right*! I'm so happy to have worked myself back down to where I was last summer. Now, to get them all so they are loose this summer, and then next year, I think I'll make a trip in June to Arizona (14th = Aunt's B-Day, Father's Day Weekend = my Brother's Annual Gaming Convention). During that trip, I'll plan to shop for size 10 or maybe even 8 clothes! 10 is my goal, if I could ever see 8 again I would be so flabbergasted! Anyway, I am very happy right now to have gone down 2 sizes in four months!

I'm especially tickled because I haven't been to the gym in 2 months, or measured myself in 2-3 months, but, I have been aware of what I'm doing and eating. Now... to work on my baby-belly. Time for some serious ab work! ... Uh... how do I do "serious ab work"? Besides sit-ups and crunches; I don't know. What's worked for you?