Monday, June 30, 2008

Separation Anxiety

Is it normal to have trouble letting your 5-3/4 year old go away? With his Dad (your Husband)? To see his Great-Grandad? For the day?

I just saw Tom and Frank off for the day. Tom takes the boys (one-at-a-time) with him to work quite frequently. Usually when he goes on a long-drive to a customer. Normally, we find out about it right before it happens. I grab a few things for them, pack a snack bag and send them off. Typically, it's in the middle of a busy day, when I'm ready to be down-by-one.

Today's trip was in the planning since Friday. We packed for it yesterday. We set alarms to get up early for it today. They've been gone five minutes and I still have a pain in my heart from watching them drive off. It's weird. I know Frank will have fun. I want him to spend time with his Grandad. I certainly want him to enjoy himself. I just am sad when I'm not their to be a part of it.

This is in contrast though to how I've been feeling / acting lately. I have been so grumpy and quick to anger this past week. I am sure it's related to being tired and running around a-lot and our diet being off. So. I'm ready to strangle my kids one minute and the next I'm sad for them to go away for the day. Very confusing.

Perhaps some of my apprehension comes from the fact that on Friday we were told we were welcome to come for the Fourth of July (Tom's birthday) and that night, but we were NOT WELCOME to stay at my cousins' for the 5th or 6th of July, because they need "Family Time" together. Well. What are we? Chopped liver?!?! So. This happened Friday and a few hours later, we planned to let Frank go spend the day with Grandad.

Grandma is very unstable these days. All last month she carried a loaded-firearm with her. Whenever Grandad was out of the house, Grandma had the gun on her hip or the table next to her. She put it away last week. But still, I'm apprehensive about Frank spending time alone with her.

Grandad has a Chiropractor's appointment this morning. It is still undetermined where Frank will be during the doctor's appointment... at work with Dad (who's visiting customers for the first time), with Grandad (who wants to leave him with Grandma instead of taking him along), at the family's house who just had a surgery on Friday and told us we couldn't come visit for the whole long weekend? Where will Frank be and will he be safe?

De-ja-vu moment while typing just now. In my new sewing Studio. Where I've never been up at this early hour typing.

Also. Adding to my worrying heart this morning. Tom and I went to bed late last night. Then, apparently he got a tension-headache a few hours after we went to bed. So. Tom got up nauseous and very tired. He *has* to take this trip today... 144 miles, one way... for work. So. He's out there on a long drive. Tried and in pain. With our first-born-child. I'm apprehensive.

Do you think I could get any more sleep? I have to be up again (for my own appointment) in thirty-minutes. :P

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I sent you an e-mail.