Wednesday, January 16, 2008

I’m GRATEFUL for a Teeny-Tiny-Trip-Over-Yourself Bathroom!

This morning, I am, for the first time, grateful for the total of forty square feet of bathroom that we have in our apartment.

Here is the cast of characters that cause me to be SO VERY GRATEFUL:

1 – A pile of freshly, cleaned toys.

2 – Reason toys needed to be cleaned, "Encouraged" Son, Jack.

3 – Hubby with a very Sensitive Stomach.

4 – The culprits causing said Sensitive Stomach.

5 – Kitty-Kat Toilet-Training in Progress.

6 – Cell Phone

7 - "Helpful" Son, Frank.

Hmm… how to tell the story. Perhaps, at the beginning… no, that’s too far back. Well, here’s what’s buggin’ me and why I have to be grateful…

I’m feeling a bit tired these past few days. Mostly because I’ve been staying up surfing and blogging online instead of going to bed on time; also, Jack has been getting up about an hour early each day. The result, I’m 1-2 hours short on sleep for several days in a row. Now, if you don’t know this about me, let me explain that I NEED a good eight hours of sleep, EVERYNIGHT. I very quickly deteriorate when I don’t have enough. I know this. It’s always been this way for me. So, today I’d planned to have an “offline” day. I explained what I mean about being Offline last night to a friend; here’s an excerpt from the email:

… that's a thing I do when I feel like I'm not getting "enough" done... just turn off my phone and computer. Then, I have some personal and family "down-time". Offline is just my term for it and I think I may do it tomorrow…

That was my plan for today, and it actually was working out okay. Jack got up early (with a wet bed) which I took care of and somehow managed to get him BACK IN BED. Then, he and Frank did something quite out of the ordinary… they got up, got dressed, and played together in their room. Usually, the boys come in and cuddle in our bed for a good thirty minutes. Like, every morning. They come in. We enjoy this time together and value it highly, but today, I was very grateful to get some extra rest. I was grateful even when my hubby got a phone call (just before eight).

The phone call was UPS calling to say they’d found a lost package… lost since NOVEMBER! He took down some info and things were looking up. Wait a minute… I forgot to tell you something that you’ll need to know.

Yesterday, during “quiet time” (after lunch, when “nap time” use to be in our routines), Frank and Jack were playing in their room. Quite nicely. Quietly. Too nicely. Too quiet. For Christmas Frank (5yo) received a Crayola Art box… you know, every kind of mess-making tool a kid can handle… okay, maybe not every kind of mess-making tool, but full of crayons, paints, colored pencils, glue, and markers. Not a lot of markers, but enough. Eight to be exact. Against my better judgment Frank convinced me that he could keep the box in his room, on his bookshelf, and keep Jack (almost 3yo) out of it.

My instincts proved correct. I don’t think Frank had to keep Jack out of it. I think Frank probably handed Jack each and every marker. Jack COVERED his train tracks and cars with marker. Eventually Frank came running out to tattle. When I went in, all eight markers were opened and scattered around the floor. You saw the pile of toys. Luckily, they were “washable” markers and basically the water cleaned the toys right off. Instead of allowing another spectacle with them cleaning in a sink, I put the toys and the boys in the tub with a bit of water and had them clean everything off. Then, they got right out of the tub and into bed. Anyway, this morning, the toys were still in the tub. We’d left them there to dry for the night.

Another thing. Do you remember me telling you I am potty-training my cats? Well, it’s still in the process of happening, and we are still using the litter pan that sits over the toilet bowl.

What else do you need to know? I guess just that my hubby has a VERY sensitive stomach. He abused it, badly, for over a decade, probably closer to two decades with close, daily, excessive association with HIS friend Jack, as in, “Jack Daniels and Coca-Cola”. Now, many years later, he wakes in the morning and if he has phlegm, he finds a few sips of Coke (something about the carbonation and cola syrup) ease his stomach’s gurgles. Jack he can handle in small, occasional doses.

Okay, I think that fills you in on all the components of our story. Now, for the events this morning which have led me to break my Anti-Technology-Fast and sit down for some therapeutic writing and story-telling.

I’ve slept in for an hour when Tom gets a call. It’s UPS, with a part (for work) lost for over three months. Yeah! Tom jumps out of bed to jot down some details about the location of the package. Tom spends a few minutes in conversation, before I hear a hurried “thanks, good bye!” followed immediately by the sounds of Tom moving the cat toilet training and heaving. Yes; as in throwing up. The Sensitive Stomach and Phlegm Combo strike again.

I know what’s going on and although I feel bad for Tom, I’m not worried about it. Frank was in my room (I’m still waking up in bed) and I ask him to “run and get Daddy a soda out of the kitchen, then sit it on the bathroom sink.” Frank did what I ask, to the letter, including the “run” part. When Tom opened the soda; well, when it was finished exploding there was literally only three ounces of soda left in the can. The other nine ounces were all over our bathroom AND Tom’s work cell phone.

You remember; Tom ran into the bathroom just as he ended his conversation? Apparently, he took the phone in there with him, and when he opened the soda. Well. Let’s just say that he’s already been to the local Verizon dealer (only to find that he’ll either have to drive three hours to Salt Lake City OR wait for the mail in order to get a replacement). Electronics don’t like moisture. They especially don’t like sticky, wet, stuff in them.

Oh yeah, you should know that Verizon now offers this great service, Backup Assistant. It’s an automated daily backup of your address book to a database which you can manage online. They do this in case you loose or break your phone. I use this service. I’ve told Tom about this service. Apparently, Tom doesn’t use this service. So, Tom now has to acquire a new phone and find a way to replace all his work phone numbers that he ONLY had in his cell phone.

In the meantime, instead of using his old personal phone, Tom decided to use my phone to place nine work calls. I heard him give his number to only one person, the other eight callers now have my number… I’m expecting any number of work related calls today.

You may wonder, why didn’t Tom use his precious RAZR phone? Oh, well, in all our moves, he’s misplaced the power cords and, as it turns out, the battery was worn-out (+$25 to today’s expenses).

Tom wiped up what soda he could, but, his stomach is still upset from his recent vomit session. As you know, sticky things like soda or juice seldom wipe up in the fist pass. You have to go at them repeatedly.

So much for my “easy, restful day.” Looks like I’m going to be scrubbing the bathroom down. Yep. Lots of cleaning to do. Okay, I’ll do it in a minute…

During that “minute” when Tom walked out and I wasn’t quite in the bathroom, Frank went in to retrieve his toys (the ones he’d cleaned the night before). In his hurry to hurl, Tom, instead of putting the litter tray safely on the floor, just balanced the tray on the edge of the tub.

Yes. You are smart. You know what’s coming here. We’ve already got vomit and soda to clean up, let’s just add some used cat litter to the combo, shall we? Yes. Thanks to Tom and Frank, we shall. And for kicks, let’s pour that nasty cat litter all over the many train toys we’ve just finished cleaning. Okay. Let’s. And they did.

Tom tells me “that everyone (he’s) told the story to says you can’t write stuff this funny.” I would submit that it may be funny to watch, but you don’t have to smell it on a screen, and you aren’t the one cleaning it up.

How is it that my restful day turned into a Clean-the-Bathroom-from-Top-to-Bottom Session? Oh yeah, and all the toys, yep, they were what was covered with the cat litter, so, clean them up again.

And THAT is why I’m grateful for a Teeny-Tiny-Trip-Over-Yourself Forty Square Feet of Bathroom!

Because, if it was any bigger, my hour-long cleaning might have taken the whole morning – instead I’ve spent the morning telling you all about it. Aren’t you lucky?

Ugh! I had a yucky morning! After all this, my right (bad) ear starting ringing so loud (tinnitus) that I literally couldn’t hear Frank talking when he was standing right next to me. I decided that writing would ease things for me. Perhaps the story would even seem funny to me once I read it.

Maybe. I do feel calmer now. Sorry if I’ve bored you, but, if this was Tom says, a truly hilarious cacophony of events, then you’ll be rolling about now. Either way, thanks for letting me “type it out”.



Cricket said...

Oh my...It sounds to me like you need to organize a "Mom-tini" night in your neck of the woods. That always seems to help!

SuzyQSparkles said...

Tonight I've got a class at the local quilt shop... I'm learning to use their long-arm, then I'll be able to start renting time on the machine (it's an hourly rate) to quilt my own / my customers quilt tops.

No alcohol, but also no kids / hubby's. Does that count?